Bringing back the old standard

I think we should bring back the gold standard. And of course, by gold standard, I clearly mean the gold star system, circa grades one through four.

Things to do with mobile internet

I can't wait to fix my phone so that I can access the Facebook mobile application again. After instants of meticulous research, I've come to the conclusion that the internet needs more pleasurably inconsequential nonsense, so I'm going to start taking pictures of all the beards I come across each day. That way, I can upload them directly into my "Beards" album. Each beard will be given a name like "Smarmy Beard", "Dastardly Beard", or "Likely-Contains-Cookie-Treasure Beard".

I will love them all equally.